Cases

I have been seeing Alex for about a month. We met on a dating app and hit it off immediately. For our first two dates, I insisted on paying because I wanted to set a tone of generosity and I earn significantly more than they do. Alex accepted this graciously but always offered to get the next one, which we haven't gotten around to yet. Last night was our third date. We went to a nice dinner that cost about $80 total. When the check came, Alex pulled out their card and suggested we split it down the middle. I was surprised because I had assumed we were still in the phase where I cover things until we define the relationship or until they insist harder. I didn't want to make a scene, so I let them pay half, but I felt a shift in the dynamic. It felt less like courtship and more like roommates grabbing a meal. Alex seems to value independence and equality highly. They mentioned early on that they don't like feeling indebted to anyone. I interpret this as them wanting to keep things balanced so neither of us holds power over the other. However, I come from a background where the person who initiates or earns more often covers costs early on as a gesture of interest. We are planning a fourth date this weekend. Alex hasn't mentioned money, but I am worried that if I offer to pay for the whole thing again, it might look like I'm trying to buy their affection or ignore their preference for equality. On the other hand, if I suggest splitting again, I worry it signals I'm not that interested or that I'm keeping score. I want to show I respect their independence but also that I am willing to invest in this connection. I am confused about what the 'right' move is here to keep the romance alive without stepping on their values.